Here’s to Halloween … and to all the poor lost souls.’ The poor lost souls. I had heard my Uncle Fred say something like that. ‘Who lost the souls?’ I asked Shadrach. ‘A good question. And out of the mouths of babes,’ he said — which didn’t really answer my question. And then Shadrach seemed to look at something a long way away. For perhaps half a minute, maybe more, he said nothing, he just kept staring into the distance. And then, when he finally looked at us again, he seemed surprised to see that Charlie and I were there. ‘What?’ he said. ‘What?’ I thought that he meant what was my question. ‘Who lost the souls?’ I said. Shadrach frowned and shook his head. ‘I just seen Old Tucker,’ he said. ‘Or … I dunno … perhaps it was just a dream.’ But he still didn’t answer my question. He still didn’t say who had lost the souls. I thought that perhaps he didn’t know who had lost the souls. ‘We should go home now,’ I said. Shadrach nodded. ‘Yes. Yes, I think it must have been a dream. I. .. "Is that it? I mean, are wedone? Is it over?" I'll pack and go Diane. I'll stay at a hotel tonight. Its better thisway. A clean break I mean. Since the house was yours before we gotmarried, you can have it. In fact, why don't you keep it all? But letsdo this the easy way and just get on with our lives."Janet was gone within a few hours. Leaving me all alone, facing thefuture as a woman. I cried a little, going to bed alone for the firsttime it two years. In the morning I looked at my naked self in themirror, and wondered if maybe Janet had been right. I loved playing withthe women's babies as well as our mornings when we got together forcoffee and talk. After getting dressed, I walked down to Rachel's house,planning on telling her about Janet leaving, but started crying theminute I saw her. Under Rachel's steady gaze and gentle way, I told herthat Janet had left."Can you get by without her income? I mean, you're not working, so..." I have a steady income Rachel, but I just can't.
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